Rocking You Like a Cat 5 Hurricane

For those new to the idea that there may not be a central controller of the mind or body, to begin to understand this notion, you might want to take a look at a hurricane.  Make it a really very powerful one.

See that well-defined eye? 

It's made of an absence.  Just like you.  The hurricane itself continues to move and form but its core can't be found.  The round shape and seeming existence is entirely dependent upon everything else that's swirling around it.  The eye is quiet, calm, and welcome in any storm because NOTHING happens there.  Nothing happens in what is usually thought of as a Self, either.

Take a look.

See all of the things and people that are supposedly moving and forming around you?  Ok.  Then turn 360 degrees.

Yep.  "You" are the eye of a hurricane.

Enlightenment, The Robin Hood Spirit, and A Tale

There's just no way to not be heard as a radical voice when it comes to talking about enlightenment.  There was nothing mainstream about what Jesus or Buddha had to say about the nature of reality and in their time they stirred up enough controversy to get themselves shunned, tortured, or killed.  Since then, select groups of self appointed guardians have packaged, preserved, and placed select teachings high on shelves of churches and temples, outside the reach of  many.  That act effectively transferred the value from what was being pointed to, to what was pointing.  Since then, newer radical voices have dusted the cobwebs from the teachings and found ways to communicate the pointers, making realization available to many during their lifetimes. 

Oh, but they didn't have Oprah and DSL.

Within the past few years I've watched as new internet voices have joined in on a chorus to pull the teachings from their lofty perches, dust them off, then repackaged them in pragmatic wrappings meant for a hungry new line of guru-weary seekers.   Eckhart Tolle kicked off the mainstream discussion.  Sam Harris has thrown his spin on it.  But what's more interesting is the groundswell of everyday people who've added their experiences and pointers to the pool of information now freely available to anyone with a computer and connection.

This blog has been an attempt to add to those voices.  There are lots of folks who've taken offense to this movement, calling it disrespectful and not a TRUE awakening.   But they're the very folks who should know better.  What's their mantra?  Everything changes.  And yes, the secrecy and mystery surrounding waking up is also changing. 

When it comes to thought, change is exponentially accelerated by the internet.

That my family and friends kind of look at me funny when I mention these ideas surrounding self, time, space, and reality has stopped giving me pause.  The truth of the findings have held, and there's no denying the obvious.  You've heard the line...Once seen, this cannot be unseen.  There's no turning back and I don't think I'd ever want to.  Instead, I will press forward.

Today, I sat in a Barnes and Noble, reading books on blogging and growing an audience.  My intention in growing a blog following is one initiated alongside friends on and old forum... to make direct and pragmatic pointers into the nature of the self available to everyone, everywhere, free of charge.

That original 2011 intention remains.

The reason making this promise was bound up in the collective and then radical act of grabbing straight for the treasure of core realizations first, then freely distributing wealth.  The many posts on this blog and others listed in the right hand column of this page, have constituted just some of the everyday voices currently caught the act of trying to communicate what's been hidden, even though it's in plain sight. 

And then we have my own take on the repackaging.  It's just part of the direction I want to move in, and this blog's future direction is something I've been mulling over for quite a while.  The next questions too explore is what does this realization actually MEAN?  Because the implications are really extraordinary.

It's becoming clearer. 

In the end, this blog's purpose and direction isn't about pointers on the self.  Though that's the core of all "mystical" teachings, it's not enough unless thoroughly explored in the context of seeming to live in the world.  Friends and loved ones still get sick.  Babies are born.  Change comes.  Life doesn't magically begin bending to your will, simply because there isn't a you for it to bend to.  Ultimately, even when getting to the heart of enlightenment, the show does go on.  There' a return to the world.  After all, there isn't anything that lives outside of it

And there was never anyone here to leave it. 




I'm excited to explore ways to integrate and grow Tabula Rasa and Lill Inpsiration.  I hope they will become a fuller, richer communication not just about pointers on the core teachings of enlightenment.  There's more to explore when it comes to pointing to "the rest of the story" and how this new seeing affects the amazingly juicy experiences that make up this ALWAYS wide open world. 

delma (thassa)


photo credit:  Monk vol.1 by CenkDuzyol

What to Do When Earnestness meets Desperation

It's at some point in your search that you'll discover the difference between earnestness and desperation.  The distinction between these two approaches can easily get lost when a seeker is in the midst of dogged inquiry.  It's a difference worth fully grasping, though, and here's why.

When you're earnest, you'll look at everything a guide asks you to examine because you fully trust that they've been down the same path with others who've come before.  You'll find yourself working with any pointer given, and from every angle imaginable.  You'll focus on finding the gem that it might possibly reveal, no matter how simple and inconsequential.  At this stage of the game you understand that any small crack in the façade could expose the entire secret.

When you're desperate, you're a drowning victim awash in spiritual concepts.  In a hurry to hold onto insight, you grasp harder and faster at the surface of the water even when you realize that it continues to slip through your hands.  I've even seen drowning seekers attack the guide out of an overwhelming sense of frustration, even as they recognize that the guide is there to show the way.  Why does this happen?  It stems from a basic lack of trust in the process, in the guide, or in yourself.  Looking for a belief to cling to, none is found.  The shore seems farther away than ever.  Panic begins.


Don't grasp at the water.    Instead, stop.  Grasp at the pointer itself and be earnest in using just one pointer at a time.  Keep true to that pointer.

"Look" is a perfect pointer. 

Do it now.  Look.

Point to the things seen.  Point to the thing seeing it. Then do that again.

Scour the list for what is found and what is suspiciously but utterly absent.  Then trust that the answer is as ridiculously simple as it first seems.


photo credit:  treading on glass by katelizabeth23

One Simple Question to Wake Up

This is from an email exchange with a seeker.  Note that Answers can only ever be met by more Inquiry....



Inquiry:  Pull this sentence apart:  "I am"
What is the "I" in that sentence. Don't think about it. Point to it right now. Then stop. Point to it again. Then stop. Point to it again. Then stop.



Seeker:  "I" is this body sitting here. The head, the body, the arms, the legs, the eyes... That's "I".

Inquiry:  If that sentence is true, why do you say, "my body"? What is the My in My Body? Point to it.

5 Lessons from the Road to No Self

And they said the path was pathless?  Here are those I'd consider the top five of the thousands of self (less) lessons learned from this three year "trip". 


Number 1.  Yes, Virginia, there is no self.

There.  I said it.  Lots of folks have the idea that it's wrong to say "There's no you!", but I disagree.  It's not wrong.  It's exactly right, depending.  I've noticed that it's always people who have already seen through the separate self who tend to denounce that phrase.  I'd ask them to just remember, there are those who have not traversed the same path and may need to read or hear something which shakes up the paradigm.  Remember the Bahiya Sutta?  It's brilliant.  Why?  It's the same as saying, "There's No You!".   Just read it:

There is thinking, no thinker
There is hearing, no hearer
There is seeing, no seer

In thinking, just thoughts
In hearing, just sounds
In seeing, just forms, shapes and colors.

Paradigm-shaking?  It's what opened my eyes to a new way of seeing.  Had it not been framed in such a startling way, I may have missed... well... Everything.


Number 2.  But also, Virginia, there IS a self

It's just that it's not what I was taught.  The self is literally what "I" think it is, but that's all that it is.  It has or owns no history, no future.  It can't.  Impossible.  But thoughts make it seem so, moment by moment.  The sense of a me feels like a me and will continue to feel like a me.  But it's just feeling without a me feeling.

Buses and trains will still hurt.  So do my toes when hitting up against coffee tables.




Number 3.  If you're trying to make the self disappear, it won't.

Looking for a state of persistent No Self (complete with capital letters) isn't going to work because it's the very supposed self that's looking for it.  Moments of nondual seeing come through grace.  Yes, grace may be preceded by practice or inquiry, but just when there's no me looking... BAM.  And, well, that's the only way this can happen, isn't it.  Grace.



Number 4.  Big Self is not the same as No(t) self

The reason why looking for the core self and clearly seeing that it is not found is important is because the sense of self is an unimaginably persistent thought.  It colors everything, including awakening.  So you can bet that it's really easy to jump right into Big Self because it just feels so good.  It's heady.  But what about that small self?  It's a good idea to see whether it's been seen through completely, or just merged into a Big Self.  How will I know the difference?  Well, if I feel big, wide, or enlarged somehow... it's still a me feeling it.  If there is just everything.... limitless everything without a me in the mental picture, then we're really onto something.



Number 5.  There is just one Enlightenment SuperPower

Once seeing the ego's bag of tricks, the only superpower I found is that I can understand human emotions and dynamics in ways I'd never dreamed.  Without a separate me, it's much easier to see the trajectory of human interactions on scales both large and small.  The same dynamic happening on facebook posts is the one that goes to war.  Both could be diffused if everyone saw this.

Seeing and anticipating the trajectory means that sometimes I can appear to be wise. Don't be fooled.  It's not wisdom, it's just understanding.

I can see how anger is pain, how arrogance is pain, how judging others is pain, and how terrorism is pain.  I see what it is that is in pain, and how the only response left after seeing through all of this, is compassion.  It doesn't even have to be cultivated because it's a natural result.  Compassion has the effect of diffusing wars big and small, conflict, envy, jealousy, ill will, and a host of negative emotions.   And that, for all intents and purposes, is one hell of a superpower.  Too bad there's really no one to have or own it.

All I Needed Was a Lill Inspiration

I'm actually pretty tired of being direct and pointy all the time. 

While this blog is full of advice on how you should go about your inquiry, I'd begun to think that maybe the best way to do this was to walk the walk in order to DEMONSTRATE what I've been going on about here in these posts.  Because after a few years of guiding, I noticed that it was still a real challenge to communicate exactly what inquiry should look like. 

The answer to this million dollar question was often left unresolved and lots of folks remained frustrated.   

It's the question I continue to get on a regular basis...

"What do you mean by JUST LOOK?!" 

And just when I'd begun to wonder whether I'd ever really be able to answer this in a blog, along comes Ingrid Lill with a wonderful series of inspirational nondual doodles. You can find them all on her facebook page, Ingen Findes but I've got to warn you, they're deceptively powerful little pointers delivered in a new and fresh medium.  Why I love this new doodle idea is because like a lot of people who have done "looking" for a while, it seems that reading books can really help structure linear inquiry.  But for those of us who are visually oriented, pictures are where the juice is. 

Truthfully, I don't know a lot of people who don't respond to visuals, and so Ingrid's doodles hit home in ways words just can't.  As soon as I saw them, I wanted to play with the ideas.  Soon, I realized that unlike reading articles or books, they were perfect for more focused inquiry as I was free to move into them as deeply as I wanted to without being distracted by the next sentence or paragraph.  And they were fun!

Along comes an idea!

The idea went like this:  Why don't I just collaborate with Ingrid?  I could write out the inquiries inspired by each doodle and post them in a new blog.  At the end of the post I could add some pointers or questions they've also inspired.  In that way, the blog reader can play along by using the visuals, reading the text, or just plain doing their own thing with either the structured stuff I'd place at the end, or do it freestyle as inpired by Lill.

Seemed rather like a good idea to me.  So yeah.  Hope you enjoy the new blog.

You'll find it here.  It's a joint venture called,  With a Lill Inspiration.

Fitting, no?

Now Go Forth and Look!


photo credit:  Dark Lil Angel on DeviantArt

Doubt Nothing About Your Awakening

A question on my last post has led to this one. Specifically, the comment asked whether I was questioning my own awakening.  In reading again, I could see the confusion. Apparently, I hadn't been clear in communicating that it was someone else's awakening I'd been in some doubt over.

The comment misses the same point I did, however, and I wondered why this individual wanted to understand whether I had begun to question my own experience.  Was it possible that they were in the midst of their own lapse in confidence and wanted to compare notes?  Could it be that they only wanted to read a blog written by someone they believed to have "fully awakened" and if I didn't fit that model, they'd need to move on?  This is not an uncommon belief or desire. No one wants to be led astray by some half-baked and self important writer full of her own opinions and theories.

But is it necessary to only read or talk with someone you believe to be "the real deal"... a fully awakened teacher?  Do you need to wait until you've found a place of no doubt whatsoever?

No.

The first reason is because there's no way to tell what "fully awakened" actually looks like because we're all operating, as soon as we take any action, from the perspective of a self.  There may be degrees of our operating from ego, but no matter what the degree, it's an act, a character. And awakening also looks like operating from a character.

The second reason is that awakening also looks like doubt.  There's no one way it appears because it is everything.  Nothing is separate or apart, and so fear, doubt, ego... it's all the same.  Doubt is free to be there and doesn't mean that any previous experience or insight should be dismissed or diminished.

This is really good news.  It means that anyone, anywhere, and at any time, is free to be your teacher, but they can only do it through, or along with, you.  When reading, listening, or watching any pointer, just look for the resonance in the moment.  There's no need to find someone to model, admire, or follow, because the world itself is a teacher but there is no teaching until you allow it to be so. The ultimate judge doesn't lie outside of you.

In other words, it's All teaching, All the time.  You're teaching yourself.



photo credit:  The World in Her Hand by Incredi on DeviantArt