There is Running.

A Thought-full Run...

"I'll do some walking.  Maybe I'll run today."

*beep* *beep*
"I hate this treadmill."

"I should practice good breathing technique."
"ok, BREATHE."

"I need to move faster.  I'll 'up' the incline."

"Ok that's better."

"I'm walking faster."

"I wonder what I'll have for dinner?"

"Concentrate!"

"OK. I'll match my breath to the music."

"I like this music."

"I feel good."

"I'm having a good workout."

Actually....

Thought pops, just comes, an image of walking on the treadmill.

Putting running shoes on the body

Walking to fitness center
Stepping on the treadmill.  Pushing buttons.

*beep* *beep*

Thought pops, 'faster'

*beep* beep*

breath.  breath. breath.

No within, No without.  Just breath, Everywhere breath.

Everything breathing.

Sensations happening.  The body adjusting.
Water appears.
*drip*
*wipe*

Sound appears in headphones...music.  No one's listening.
Hearing is hearing.

Sensations in the feet, legs, hips.  

Seeing sees jerky motions. 

breath.

breath.

No one breathes.

Everything breathing.
Everything running.

photo credit:  on the edge by ~jakejames - Deviantart
Second photo:  don't feel like running by ~rockingmarcia - Deviantart

When the Bubble Bursts

The point of no-self realization is not to denounce the self.  It's to see it for what it is.... thought, appearing based on conditions, empty of any inherent qualities.

How is it empty?

Compare the self to a soap bubble.  Does it exist without soap, without air, without breath? Without the hole it forms through?  Without moisture in the air?

When the conditions are no longer right for the bubble to appear or be sustained, what happens? 


The sense of self is just as fragile and transparent, its existence dependent upon the thought constructs of memory and belief. Conditions for its appearance? Reflection upon an action of or within the body.


How to burst the bubble....

As a seeker, if there's an effort to stop the self thoughts from appearing, don't bother. The desire is 'you' trying to overcome your 'self'. That's impossible. It's a circular reference, an endless loop.

Let that go.

Just notice. Notice when the thoughts of self appear. Notice when they are absent. Then ask how anything inherent or vital can disappear without a trace for minutes, hours, or days on end, without anyone even noticing it was gone.



photo credit:  ~kkokosz on deviantart

The Truth about being Ruthless

Was RuthlessTruth really Ruthless?  Yes.  But there was no way to make a guru out of any one of us, and that's what I liked most.  It left the seeker completely free of even the person who 'liberated' them.  So it's ironic, now, when I read facebook posts judging the method.

You see, in the end to be completely free, even the teacher must be slayed.  And in that regard I'd say it was a job very well done.


http://www.truthstrike.com/ - The Phoenix from Ruthless Ashes

Shiny, New

So, in my last post I listed a host of realizations which hit after crazy-deep contemplation of the buddhist ideas of emptiness and dependent origination.  It seems that while doing this, another aspect of the initial no self realization that took place a year ago jumped out to the fore.  Or maybe you could call it ' a deepening' of the initial shift, though that's not quite accurate.

I'd compare it to finding a diamond, and then a year later, figuring out that its sparkle was not in the stone itself, but in the fact that it has many facets which reflect the light very differently.

Yeah.  That's it.

photo credit:  Starlight, by ~kyokosphotos

Clean

About a month ago, several realizations hit at once.  I've debated putting them here because they're not really of use to anyone.  On the other hand, documenting these things just *may* be helpful to a reader.  This post isn't meant to explain the details, but I'm sure it will prompt those with whom it resonates to contact me directly.

Consider this a journal entry, a logging of sorts.  It's a copy of what I've posted to a facebook group today.   At this point, I'm not certain what direction this will head in but should any of this resonate with you, reader, I suppose that's the entire purpose of this exercise:



In thinking about what was seen here a month or so ago, it seems that the experience is sort of indescribable and yet what you post both here and in your blog seems to explain it. I can, however, see how difficult it is to express these things.

What was seen here were these things, and I'm listing them here to sort of get them down and look at them closely. I'm not certain what model they 'fit', but I'm sticking with them since it's direct experience.

1. Luminosity when looking at objects, to the point where there was nothing BUT luminosity. The 'self' was sort of absorbed into it.

2. Complete disappearance of the sense of self. Everything else is alive and fully present. Only it's not exactly 'everything else', it's just what IS. There can't be an Other because there is no reference point 'here'.

3. The aliveness arises every moment. Continuously. It is Being Done.

4. Thoughts appearing about all of this are also being done.

5. Sensations are being done.

6. Everything falls away immediately. There is no time, only now which isn't even able to be pinpointed. It's illusory in that there is no substance.

7. Space is a thought. There is no inside or outside.

8. All 'things' aren't things, they appear based on conditions.

9. Every appearance is whole and complete in and of itself. All conditions are appearing as what is appearing now. Nothing exists outside of what appears now, and this appearance would not happen exactly as it does without all of those causes/conditions. Everything is exactly as it is, perfectly so.

10. Each sense 'stream' is separate. They do not cross over. Only thoughts claim this.

11. There are no other selves. Other people are also being done.

12. Seeing the 'thing' IS the thing. The same goes for hearing, touching, tasting.

13. This has always been like this. We've just not noticed.

14. There's more to come. Since nothing repeats and each moment is fresh, the insights have to continue. Enlightenment is no state, it's a moment-to-moment flow.... sometimes seemingly 'there', sometimes not. Both the same.

15. There are no people to be enlightened or unenlightened. It's just a word, an idea.

16. The debates will continue. That, too, is the flow.

All of this has since waxed and waned, or the same insight has been realized under different circumstances. But this has been the base of all insights since then.


From here, everything is being revisited.

photo credit:  I-see-shapes

Like Fire to Flame....

An excerpt from an awakening journal from An Eternal Now, available here from the excellent blog, Awakening to Reality.

"When we look at a candle, a flame is burning brightly, flickering moment by moment, not having a fixed shape.

We may question, where does the fire come from? Does it come from north? South? East? West?

Does ...it come from the candle? It would appear so, but before the candle starts burning there is no fire. When the fire starts burning, it appears out of nowhere - the candle and a sudden spark ignites the fire, but the fire came from nowhere - it is merely dependently arisen, without a place of origin - entirely fresh and new.

Where is it? The fire is constantly flickering, cannot catch a location at all. Merely dependently arisen, no substantial core that can be pinned down or located. In fact - try moving your hand across the fire - it's totally hollow and transparent.

Where does it go after the fire is blown out? Does it go north, south, east, west, up or down? Doesn't apply. For what is dependently arisen, ceases upon the cessation of conditions, and is empty of an entity. The notion of an entity that persists and goes somewhere does not apply at all. Fire is empty of IT-ness. There is no fire-ness of fire.

For what dependently originates does not come into being, and what ceases upon the ending of conditions has no destination, nor can it be said that a 'thing' has been 'annihilated'. It simply means the absence of conditions for further arising.

Look at your current experience. How is it any different from flickering fire?

Isn't it the case that whatever you think, see, hear, and smell, are spontaneously appearing out of nowhere via dependent origination? That it is constantly flickering, unlocatable, insubstantial? That there is no destination to which things proceed to and remain - rather, they simply cease upon the parting of conditions?

If you are to pay a little more mindfulness to your experience, it will not be difficult to directly observe your experiential reality constantly dissolving moment by moment like your fingers drawing on a pond utterly vanishing without a trace upon its inception.

We however have ideas of substantial reality that exists objectively, causing obscuration and proliferation that grasps at solid self and things.

For example we imagine that there is an observer, a self, that is peering out through the eyes at an objective world. The objective world is seen to consist of solid entities and objects each with their own inherent characteristics.

We reason ourselves that if we close our eyes and open them again, we will again see similar shapes and colours. We then reason to ourselves that these shapes and colours are inherently present as the characteristics of objects regardless of whether we are present to observe the objects.

We fail to consider that for example, dogs see no colours, beings of other realms can see something different, and if we look at the quantum level we see mostly void. We fail to consider also that 'colours, shapes, and forms' are merely our visual experience arisen due to specific causes and conditions. There is no such thing as vision without colours, shapes, and forms. And there is no colours, shapes, and forms without vision. They are synonymous. In any case, they are simply dependently arisen experiences. Our framework of there being an observer observing the world of objects are baseless, no such delineation can be found in our investigation. There is no seer that is seeing objects, nor objects that stay the same and exists apart from our observation of them. There is rather simply a wide array of appearances, which are dependently arisen but no solid entities can be posited or established whatsoever. Whatever object we investigate to see if they could be characteristics 'belonging' to truly existent objects are found to be more of the same hollow and substanceless, dependently arisen appearance, like an empty shell which only 'appears' but do not pertain to any true existence or core. Being dependently arisen, nothing whatsoever exhibits the characteritics of inherent existence - core-like, singular, partless, independent, unchanging. There are no objects behind the colours, shapes, forms that we experience moment to moment... nor a seer behind the seeing.

It is also not the case that objects pass through our field of awareness or experience. To say that "things arise in awareness" is fundamentally wrong already since it implies there is "things" that can

arise and pass away in some unchanging "awareness". But actually both "things" and "awareness" are merely conventions that point to a single self-luminous experience. In actuality there is no 'awareness' other than what is seen, heard, smell, taste, touched, thought, awareness is simply the self-aware, self-luminous quality of each experience, and there is no sight, sound, smell, ... etc that is not the self-luminous display of mind. In short, there is nothing apart from the suchness of every manifestation. Language and thought falsely construes artificial dualities and frame our experience in these false constructs causing confusion, ignorance, clinging and suffering. Awareness is empty of any intrinsic identity - being merely a convention, like everything else are also conventionally designated without any substantial ground to be found."

What is the Self?

Oh, the visuals! 

Can a watcher of this video be pointed to except as an afterthought?  Does it come in to watch or does it appear only upon reflection?